I am excited not only for the New Year but an entirely new decade. While I am not big on yearly resolutions, I thought it would be good for me to start practicing to come out of my shell. The opportunity could not have presented itself any sooner.
I came across an advert that was calling for people who would want to be trained to work on radio. I was excited at the prospect, but I was scared at the same time. What if I sign up for it don’t get through? I finally made up my mind to give it a shot and sent my audio recording on the last day of the deadline. While I was scared, wondering what I had just done, I was also proud that for the first time in my life, I had put myself out there, to be judged competitively.
To be sure I will be shortlisted; I listened to the audio clip that I had sent. I was surprised at how good I sounded and I exclaimed to myself, “this woman (me) sure does have a beautiful voice!” “It will be a shame if she isn’t chosen,” I muttered to myself. I didn’t tell any of my friends about it. I justified it that I could always tell them at the end of the year about some of the things that I consider daring that I did.
I got shortlisted for the second round. I was so happy, I cried tears of joy. I was given an appointment of when I was to carry out my second task. On my way to the place of the task, I was confident. I knew I would do my absolute best and no one could stop me. As soon as I got to the reception area, my nerves started acting up. I became a bundle of nerves all of a sudden. I was bumping into doors, my voice was shaking and I kept telling myself, calm down, it is all going to be alright. I breathed in and out, counted to ten both in descending and ascending order, nothing could calm me down.
For the next task, we were to be recorded, as we talked about a topic, given to us by the station. I was asked to talk about vegetables. I was supposed to make it youthful, full of humour and make the listeners fall in love with vegetables. “Vegetables! I thought. These guys have got to be kidding me. Of all topics in the world, I should talk about vegetables!” I was given five minutes to prepare. I tried to get my mind together; I couldn’t form a flow to my words. Which was quite weird because words are my trade, or so I usually say? Give me a topic, and I will find something to say.
When I went to finally record, I opened my mouth to speak, but no word came out. I told myself you can do it. You have come here and the task has to be completed. I started to talk but I was incoherent the whole time. After I had come out of the studio, I couldn’t remember what I had said. I kept asking myself, did I introduce myself? What exactly did I say? Maybe I should have said this, why didn’t I? The only thing I remembered was my nervousness; it should have been so loud. I knew there was no way I could make it to the third round. I have kicked myself several times for being such a fool. However, when I explained to my friends how the task had been, they were confident that there was no way I could fail. I wished I had that much confidence in me.
One day later, I received a message that I couldn’t be part of the competition any more. It stung. But they at least wished me the best in my future endeavours. As I thought about the whole ordeal, I burst out in laughter, as I relived the whole experience, it was healing, and instead of getting depressed, I asked myself what I could have done better.
First of all, I didn’t anticipate what to expect. In my mind, I knew I would go, see and conquer. I didn’t put myself in the shoes of my interviewers. I didn’t ask the questions they may have asked. I simply assumed. Little wonder I was overwhelmed by everything.
Secondly, my prior preparation was also inadequate. The day before the interview, I was so busy with another project I didn’t give much thought to the interview. In fact, by the time we were done, we were all too tired to do anything that needed much effort or thinking.
Plus, I was overly confident. Confidence is not a bad thing. We all need it. My overconfidence led me to put in less and take the assignment for granted. It was a huge mistake, now I know.
When all is said and done, I am proud of myself for taking my first step in the path I had never dared to travel. When another opportunity comes around, and I know it will, I will do a whole lot better.
Free to Fly 