Dear stranger,

I am going through a phase in my life where neither friends nor acquaintances understand me. I would say that I feel like a butterfly about to overcome its cocoon stage and yet it is afraid of what will happen when it is time to flap its wings and fly.

I want to explain to them what exactly is happening to me, but I guess we are all confused. We both don’t know each other and we may never meet ever again; I simply want to let it all out so I thought I should sit down and unburden to you.

It all started a few years back. I felt there is more that I should be doing with my life, I thought something had to change. I just didn’t know what and how the change would come about.

I finally decided to act upon my feelings, but I faced one challenge; some of my friends and acquaintances could not let me. No, they didn’t tell me to stop. It was in their unenthusiastic response or lack of any when I excitedly told them about a step however tiny that I had accomplished. Or the confused look in their eyes when I explained how I was working on changing my life for the better. They avoided the topic like a plague, or simply laughed at me. The leopard doesn’t change its spots they said.

When I dared to do it on my own, they said they didn’t understand me anymore, that I had changed a lot. I was gripped by the fear that I might lose my friends if I dared to move from my comfort zone, a zone where we understand each other well.

I guess sometimes when push comes, it shoves us really hard. So, when I finally decided I had had enough of my mediocre life, and I shakingly made the appropriate steps to what I think is my higher calling and purpose in life, our interactions became minimal, the rate of phone calls dropped, we saw each other less and even when we met, the conversations were strained.

It bothered me a lot. I wanted to be able to tell my friends about the small victories that I was celebrating, but they seemed not ready to hear them. When I made a headway, I wanted them to be the first to know. When I pitched my first client, they were the first people I called. I wanted them to know that life was getting much better. We have been through so much together. They have held my hand more times than I can count. But it’s the cold response that stopped me right in my tracks. It was the “I can’t talk right now” that had me confused.

Then I called again, hoping that they could spare a minute to talk but they were busier than before. Just like that, we drifted apart. Our friendship has never been the same.

But I knew the time for me to soar had come. I read somewhere that you must be willing to walk alone, until people that are meant to walk with and beside you join you on the journey. It is what I did. It’s been an amazing one, with lots of hurdles to jump but I am determined to keep going. Life has given me hundred reasons to give up, I have had millions of reasons not to.

There are times when I miss my friends. When old beautiful memories come flooding back and I want to recreate them, but like the broken glass, those pieces can never be perfectly put back together. There will always be cracks.

Each day I am grateful that I ever got to know them. I pray that someday, we will be able to meet, all walls broken down and that we will embrace each other once again.